Managing your feelings

October 18, 2023

In our current world, a common thought process is “you have your truth and I have mine”. In other words, there is no absolute truth in the minds of many and God’s word is not sovereign. How can one control their feelings so that the word of God remains authoritative?

Can I feel my salvation?
Feelings are a part of the human experience, so they are normal to undergo. However, due to our fallen sin nature, feelings and emotions have become corrupt. There are some Christians who are under the impression that their salvation is assured based upon their positive feelings, such as happiness or cheerfulness. They may also believe they are receiving direction from the Lord merely because they feel calm or relaxed. Both of these notions are not written. God commands us to not lean on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6), and instead to have a love for the truth that is found in His word (John 17:17). It is prayer and a strong understanding of the word of God that leads one to pure and righteous judgement following peace of mind. Thoughts based upon one’s feelings or impressions results in corrupt reasoning and moral degradation, causing you to wrongfully condemn others, which also makes you subject to condemnation from God (Romans 2:1). Relationships, families, and friendships have been destroyed over those who refuse to forgive others for wrongful deeds and by holding on to their ill feelings and impressions towards others. The devil can and will give false impressions and feelings. Those who cherish their feelings over the word of God will be led astray. It is your responsibility to manage your feelings by first recognizing that the human heart is deceitful and “desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9). Simply because you feel a certain way about yourself, someone else, or something does not make anything about you, it, or them true. Turn to God and His word for understanding and clarity (James 4:7-8; Proverbs 2:5-6).

Is appreciation good enough?
An appreciation for God is no indication that you are saved. You can appreciate God, evangelize in His name, give to others, attend church weekly, and engage in prayer, yet you can still be dead in your iniquity (Matthew 7:21-23). Good works do not address lawlessness, else there is no need for a savior. We are instructed to keep the commandments of God (Matthew 19:17; 1 Corinthians 7:19; Ecclesiastes 12:13), for the commandments are righteousness (Psalm 119:172). God is your refuge when you sin and He can help keep you from falling (Jude 1:24).

Working with those who can't manage
Pouring out your feelings on others is severely unwise (Proverbs 29:11), no matter if they are good or bad feelings. Do not associate yourself with those who speak flattering words to you (Proverbs 20:19), since those words are based on selfish intentions and not truth nor love. Do not validate others’ feelings (Proverbs 21:2, 14:12), lest you draw them away from the truth in God’s word. Many today do not truly desire to understand any conflict, thus they simply seek validation from others (Proverbs 18:2). You can empathize with others for the struggles they are experiencing (Romans 12:15), yet that is all you can do to help. No person on this earth, not even counselors nor psychologists, can provide healing for your hardships. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, then there will be nothing to fret about (Matthew 6:31-33; Philippians 4:13). There is comfort in the word of God (James 3:17; Romans 10:17).

Overcoming
Feelings will always change (Proverbs 14:13), you can feel happy today and sad the next, but the word of God is unfailing, and God does not change (Psalm 33:4; Malachi 3:6). One can overcome the burden of feelings by renewing their mind in the word of God and being reassured of His promises (Romans 12:2). When we go to God for guidance or grace, we should not expect Him to give a special feeling as an assurance that He has fulfilled His word. Feelings are no point of reference and have no value in this matter. It is your sanctification that testifies your salvation, which is the result of lifelong obedience to God.